20 Things I Know Because My Dad Is My Dad

Forrest Sr – Dad – 66 / Forrest Jr – Me - 40What is it like having my father as a father?

Because my dad, is my dad, I…….

1.     Have someone to call.  Always.
2.     Am comfortable tackling any plumbing problems.  Because I am comfortable tackling plumbing problems, I am also comfortable tackling other problems as well.  The confidence that those experiences have given me carries over into other aspects of life.
3.     Know that if the plumbing problem I have tackled becomes too much, I always have a back up.  My dad.  Just a phone call away.
4.     Am comfortable with firearms.  I know I am worthy of trust because my dad trusted me with firearms at an early age.  He taught me methodically and entrusted me carefully.  As a result, I know it is ok for people to trust me and I feel trustworthy.
5.     Know what it is like to work hard.
6.     Know what it is like to be gentle.
7.     Know what it is like to be romantic.
8.     Know what it is to wash dishes.
9.     Know what is is to do laundry.
10. Receive a phone call every couple of weeks telling me what a wonderful privilege it is to be my dad and what a great father I am.
11. Grew up with the crazy notion that I was wonderful and special just for being me.
12. Know that we are a kaleidoscope of people but our similarities strongly outweigh our differences.  And, without a shadow of a doubt, we are most certainly equal in the eyes of God.
13. Get to call him and share my deepest insecurities….”Dad, I don’t think I have the faith to make it through today…..”  “Son, it’s not your job to have the faith, it’s only your job to ask for it.  Give that responsibility to God.  He wants it.  He will give you what you need.  Don’t even try to do it on your own.  Let Him.”  That’s what it is like to talk to my dad.  And, yes, that is a real conversation that I had with my father while going through my divorce.
14. Know that it takes 2 hands to cook, 2 hands to clean, 2 hands to drive, 2 hands to hold, 2 hands to love, 2 hands to turn a wrench and 2 hands to sew.  It doesn’t matter if those 2 hands come from a girl or a boy.  What a silly notion.
15. Learned that you can recognize a soldier/warrior because they are the most prepared to go into battle and they are the least likely to want to go. (that means that warriors understand the cost of battle and avoid it at all costs.  But when they go, they go 150%)
16. Learned that you don’t have to wear a uniform, to be a warrior.
17. Learned that he went to Vietnam not to prevent people in America from burning the flag, but to give them the right to do so without threat of prosecution.  Though he may hate the action, he honors the Freedom.  There is no greater patriot, than those who have stood on the front lines and laid it all on the line.
18. Have an unlimited supply of encouragement.  Unlimited.  Try and imagine what that is like.  An unlimited supply of encouragement.
19. Say thank you to veterans.  In public places, even though I feel awkward.

20. Know that it is ok to be sad, frustrated, defeated, exhausted and discouraged.  Because tomorrow is another day and my job is to wake up, get up and show up and let God do the rest.

Anxiety

It's my day off.  I am having mild anxiety.  Why?

First, I intuitively know that I won't be able to do all I want to do today.  I won't be able to relax "enough" to compensate for the last 60 days of incredibly intense work.  No way can that amount of relaxation be crammed into 1 day.

I want to read Huckleberry Finn.  I want to play guitar.  I want to organize the hotel room.  I want to sit and enjoy a 2 hour breakfast.  I want to take a nap.  I want to pursue a job in the non-profit field.  I want to work at my house and get that figured out.  I want to call my dad.  I want to watch a movie.  I want to walk 2 miles.  I really wanna run 5 miles.  I want to soak in the hot tub.  I want to write a blog post about anxiety.  I want to make another entry into my State Farm journal.  Gee whiz……and that is just the beginning…..

Jeremy once said to me, "The next 90 days are going to pass.  Whether you want them to or not, they will.  The question you have to ask yourself is, what do you want to accomplish in the next 90 days?  Break it down into a 90 day segment, and then do it 1 day at a time."

Jeff said to me, "At the end of next year, when you turn around and look back, what story do you want to tell?  Do you want to be a better salesman?  Do you want to be a better manager?  Do you want to be a better dad?  Find out what you want to say about yourself in 12 months and then go do that."

I already feel a little bit better…..just by writing this out…..more to come….